no, thanks

we had our monthly implementation team lunch, this time at chili's in greenbelt. i was enjoying myself with my teammates when the topic of a "field trip" came. interested, i started asking A about it. then all of a sudden R interjects and says "hindi ka kasama". i was taken aback but i pretended i did not mind and continued talking with A. he did retract it and said it was just a joke but for me, the damage has been done.

some people may say that i am overly sensitive about this. maybe so. probably because i am the kind of person who hates tagging along where i am not invited. yun bang pinagsisiksikan ang sarili niya sa iba. i hate feeling out of place, the feeling of being alone when you're in a crowd. that's why when R said that i was not invited, i said to myself "ok, fine. i am not going where i am not wanted."

he is not one of my favorite people but i am trying to get along with him because we have mutual friends. and in retrospoect, i think one of the reasons why i do not hang out with their group that much is because of him. why put myself in a "hostile" situation when i can be with other groups of people who openly accept me? i don't need to befriend him to continue being friends with the other people he hangs out with.

friendship is solely between two people. unfortunately, those two people will not be us.