take two!

cutover na naman. haaay... di ko maipaliwanag kung ano ang nararamdaman ko tuwing darating ang cutover. kinakabahan ako na baka may palpak, baka sumablay. nakakatakot magkamali kasi malaking problema pag nagkataon. sa tingin ko naman, nagawa na namin lahat ng pwedeng gawin. kaya isang hinga, isang dasal, game na. bahala na si Lord. :)

new blog for the new year

there are times when i want to post something here but could not express it in the way i want to. so just to help me through, i created a new blog but this time, in tagalog... uhmmm... probably taglish most of the time. not that it's any assurance that i would be able to write everything that goes on in this head of mine. :)

in changi airport...

i should have been home at this time already. but as it is, i would still have to wait more than half a day before i finally reach the philippines. i was really pissed off this morning, not being able to catch my flight. worse, it wasn't my fault! it was a good thing that singapore airlines did not charge me for booking the next one. i could have taken the next day's flight but i was just so eager to get home, i didn't mind staying overnight in changi airport. good thing i am in business class this time around... staying the night in the airport isn't all that bad. how can it be when you're eating good food (desserts especially) without it costing you a cent? :) i just wish i could finish my christmas shopping and all the stuff i have to do in time.

on the brighter side, tita rose gave me a guy sebastian cd this morning (i reckon it's a peace offering). i have been thinking of buying one (together with delta goodrem's) but now i am happy that i didn't. i placed their cd's as part of my christmas wishlist and i am just sooo happy that i received one. now i wonder, what i would receive in our danito/danita? :)

to you...

dear friend,

when we started talking a while ago, i knew something was bothering you. i asked if it was work-related, all the while knowing that though it might be a reason, it wasn't the one that was troubling you. i asked anyway, hoping that i was wrong. but you never did tell me what your problem was. you were spurning off profound statements that could only give me a glimpse but never really revealed anything. and i had to content myself with that. firstly because i know you would've told me what it was if you wanted to and i was not about to pry into something you decided to keep private. secondly, because i am the same. i could be very vague when trying to share something while keeping the details unknown. you probably know what i am talking about. and in the same way, i understand. but still, it doesn't help keep me from being sad. i'm sad because you didn't let me in... you just gave me a glimpse and closed the door. i'm sad because you didn't give me a chance to help and to share in whatever load you are carrying. but you are my friend. and right now, your troubles are more important than mine. so i just wish you well and hope that you would be able to straighten out all the curves in your life. remember that i will always be here for you.

for always,
kat

first birthday

the one sad thing about birthdays being spent in a foreign country is that you don't have your family to share it with. i thought i was looking at spending my birthday all by myself. it wasn't actually a bad idea. i've been in sydney for five weeks already and spent most of my spare time alone. but when my barrier reef teammates knew about my birthday, they were determined not to let that happen.

martina sent me a message on sametime on thursday, saying that i should come to the office the next day for a barrier reef meeting. since i had something that i can do in the office anyway, i agreed. when friday came, martina asked me to join them for morning tea... they bought krispy kreme donuts for that. then, siobhan led everyone to sing "happy birthday" for me. i was both happy and embarrassed! :) the happiness turned into utter contentment after we ate the krispy kremes they bought. yum! then peter gave me a box of cadbury chocolates and a card from the whole group. so with the krispy kremes and the chocolates, the weight i was trying so hard not to gain was... well, staring at me in the face! i was really touched, though. :)

throughout the day, the girls (martina, jannet, siobhan and antoniette) were asking me what i plan to do for my birthday. i didn't have any plans then.. all i was sure of is that i won't be spending it inside my hotel room! antoniette suggested that i go to featherdale zoo, located somewhere in blacktown. then siobhan left her phone numbers at my desk and told me to call her if ever i wanted to do something on my birthday. jannet also did the same. though i was touched by their gestures, i knew i wouldn't have called them on my own. i was too shy to bother them to accompany me -- whether it was my birthday or not. i shouldn't even have thought about it because that night, jannet called me and told me about her plans for my birthday. :)

a few hours ago, jannet and her husband picked me up the hotel and we went to parramatta to have dinner at a mexican restaurant. angelica and her husband soon followed. it was really great having friends to share your birthday with. i know i am not close to angelica and jannet and i have only met their husbands then... but their effort in making my day special made it memorable indeed. i think i was too caught up in the moment, i forgot to take our pictures! after dinner, we drove to merrylands to watch master and commander. the film itself was not that spectacular... it was actually not as great as what i expected it to be after hearing about the good reviews. but i sure didn't mind, knowing that the movie was part of my birthday celebration. :)

my first birthday in australia was a good birthday, all in all. i sure would've preferred to have spent it back home but then again, this is as good as it gets. :)

a wondrous end to a long and winding journey

it's amazing when you get to see someone's dream come true.

in the last couple of months, australia has watched, supported and cheered for the australian idol finalists. last night, they voted for THE ONE. guy sebastian.

i never picked up the phone or sent an sms to vote for any of the idol finalists but i watched it every sunday when i can (which basically translates to when i am in australia). i have been rooting for guy for the past few weeks and my heart was pounding last night when they were about to announce the winner. i could not help but shout a "YES!" when they said guy's name. i just thought that guy has an amazing voice and a great personality. but more than this, he just puts so much heart into his songs. you can't help but be touched with his songs!

shannon noll, the runner-up, also has a great voice but he was more into rock n' roll (which i heard is well supported by australians) while guy is more into r&b. shannon was absolutely adorable with his kids and i believe that even if he wasn't proclaimed the australian idol, he would still carve his niche in the music industry.

another wonderful thing about all of this was that guy and shannon have been together from the very start. they have been really close and became such good friends. you could see that shannon was extremely happy for guy's success.

it was just fantastic to see someone's dream, which he has worked so hard for, finally come true. and to see so many people supporting you on your way to that dream is magnificent. though i think it's more than improbable that guy and shannon will be reading any of this, i still want to say good luck and congratulations to both of them. i really think they did a spectacular job!

one last note... i also thought the single that guy would be releasing this week is absolutely great and is sure to be a big hit! here is an excerpt of the song, "angels brought me here".

... if you could see what i see, you're the answer to my prayer
and if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
you would know, it would be clear
that angels brought me here...

good things

i was taking my time preparing to go to parramatta, thinking that my train isn't due for a while. ten minutes before schedule, i went out of my hotel, ready to start my day but alas, i remembered a wrong train schedule and was actually ten minutes late. i had to wait for fifty minutes before the next one arrived!

though my day didn't start well, there were a lot of things that made my day a lot better. i made a list of them since they are not the mind-blowing-life-changing kinds and i am likely to forget.

1. women dressed up in beautiful clothes to watch the horse race at rosehill
2. a gentleman heping a lady carry her stroller down the stairs
3. an elderly couple holding hands
4. the relief of going into an airconditioned train after waiting in the heat
5. eating tandoori chicken for lunch. yum!
6. having a good workout
7. aussies and kiwis donning their team colors watching the rugby games
8. australia going through to the finals of the rugby world cup

it was a good day after all...

hooked on rugby

no, not the one that gets you "high" though it can do the same to you. the sports kind of rugby.

i have always been a sports fan. i remember when we were young, we used to pester our dad to buy us tickets to the PBA. we so wanted to watch the games in araneta coliseum and cheer for our favorite team. back then, we were rooting for tanduay and mon fernandez was our favorite player. that was, until purefoods was born in 1988 (if i remember correctly). we then became huge fans of alvin patrimonio, jerry codinera and jojo lastimosa. that was the reason why our brother was named alvin joseph instead of christian joseph.

swimming, being my absolute favorite sport, is one of the events i never fail to watch during the SEA games. back then, i wanted to be like akiko thomson. or ryan papa. or eric buhain. one of my childhood dreams was to be an olympic swimmer... compete with these people and for the nation. of course, that never happened.

i also enjoyed watching volleyball and have come to love it. i was watching the men's world cup and was actually intent on cheering against team japan. that was until i saw yoichi kato. i thought he was the best player in the team... and the most good looking one at that. i was hooked! from that time, i believe i became the biggest fan of team japan. i even bought a magazine even when i hadn't got the slightest idea what it was saying because all the articles were in japanese. and so i am absolutely jealous of irish and alvin who'll be watching the japan team LIVE!

for the past few weeks now, i am into watching rugby. australia is in the semi-finals of the world cup, going against the new zealand. i don't know the names of the players nor do i know the rules of the game. nevertheless, i am looking forward to an exciting game this saturday. i will be back to the hotel early, same with probably the whole of australia, rooting for the home team. go wallabies!!!

unpretty

does a person's appearance affect how they are treated? do attractive people get an edge in life? when we are taught that inner beauty is what matters, is it the whole truth? or is it just life's way of consoling physically deficient people?

i have been at the receiving end of "fat jokes" for as long as i can remember. either that or i would be told in one way or another that i am fat. when your physique is compared to another person, with the intent of having them at the advantaged side, you can't help but feel insecure. somehow you feel like you're inadequate. or in this instance, more than enough.

i don't like being fat either. but i have come to realize that this is how i was born. i don't know whether to blame heredity, my slow metabolism or the fact that i like to eat. the bottomline is, i am on the heavy side. i would probably be all my life. i am struggling to accept that and to love being this way. there are times when i think i am getting closer to this but some events would make me realize otherwise. like now.

i know a lot of people would not understand this. i don't even expect them to. they might think it's pathetic. fine. if that's how they want to see it, then let it be. i am done explaining my reasons why i think and feel this way. i just know i do.

love songs

if you will be describing filipinos, i think one of the adjectives that should be there is "romantic". i believe this. why else would valentine's day be a big event year in and year out? why else would the biggest music hits in the philippines be love songs? speaking of love songs, most of them talk about unrequited love or maybe, the grandness of love... how you would and could do anything for the one your heart beats for. one love song is different, however. (well, at least, this is the only one i know of). it talks about love but in a more realistic sense. probably because the songwriter is gary granada (an all-time favorite of mine). gary's songs have always captured what is real without sacrificing the content. i even think that being real, the meaning becomes more profound. here are the lyrics of the song:

=====

kapag sinabi ko sa iyo
gary granada

kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y minamahal
sana'y maunawaan mo na ako'y isang mortal
at di ko kayang abutin ang mga bituin at buwan
o di kaya ay sisirin perlas ng karagatan

kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y iniibig
sana'y maunawaan mo na ako'y taga-daigdig
kagaya ng karamihan, karaniwang karanasan
daladala kahit saan, pang-araw-araw na pasan

ako'y hindi romantiko, sa iyo'y di ko matitiyak
na pag ako'y kapiling mo kailanma'y di ka iiyak
ang magandang hinaharap sikapin nating maabot
ngunit kung di pa maganap, sana'y huwag mong ikalungkot

kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y sinisinta
sana'y yakapin mo akong bukas ang iyong mga mata
ang kayamanan kong dala ay pandama't kamalayan
na natutunan sa iba na nabighani sa bayan

halina't ating pandayin isang malayang daigdig
upang doon payabungin isang malayang pag-ibig
kapag sinabi ko sa iyo na ika'y sinusuyo
sana'y ibigin mo ako, kasama ang aking mundo