love letter

dear SAP Practice volleyball team,

i just want to say how proud i am to be part of this circle. i am in constant awe of the talent that you guys have, the passion for the sport and your ever uplifting and positive spirit.

i was included in the team because there was no other choice. yes, saling kit lang talaga ako. zippy included me since wala nang ibang girls na sumali --- 2 lang daw ang girls from last year na natira. and since lagi naman daw akong nanonood (yes, matagal na akong supporter ng SAP Practice volleyball team), might as well daw isama na ako sa list. just in case kulang ng girls --- better to have me than lose by default. makes sense. so sige. the moment zippy sent out the list, nagdalawang isip na ulet ako. kasi naman, kakatakot. e kung wala na ngang choice kung hindi ipasok ako? at ako ang dahilan para matalo ang team? susko. pero sige na, ayaw na akong tanggalin ni zippy sa list.

my only goal was to get more exercise, get more active. dati kasi, kahit na sinasabi kong sasali ako sa practice, hindi rin ako nakakapunta kapag busy ako (which is all of the time), kasi isip ko naman, wala namang mawawala sa akin if hindi ako sumali. this time, kapag hindi ako sumali sa practice, may double reason if pumalpak ako sa game itself. so sige, sama ako sa lahat ng practice. para kung pumalpak ako, kasama na si Lord sa sisisihin ko. di Niya ako binigyan ng talent sa pag-spike at pag-block, e. di rin Niya ako binigyan ng height to even attempt man lang. so kung wala man akong talent, wala man akong physical abilities, baka naman madaan sa effort. so go.

high school pa yung last kong actual laro ng volleyball. so that was a verrrry long time ago. and that was just because kailangan siya sa PE. i was never good at it, but i liked playing it. i guess ganun ako in most sports, even in the sports that i say are "mine". so kahit na hingalin ako sa pagtakbo sa "warm up" at magkapasa ang mga braso ko dahil sa pag-receive at pag-serve ng bola, go pa rin. babalik din naman siya sa dati.

i think good thing na rin na hindi ako pwede nung first game. that was probably the most difficult game/opponent that we had to play. sila nag-champion eventually, e. and undefeated at that. we needed to field our best players there. i think naman andun sila.

nung first time kong maglaro, i think marami akong naging errors. unfortunately, talo tayo. inisip ko talaga nun na wag nang magpakita sa susunod pang mga games. kasi baka mapilitan si zippy or si pet na ipasok ako just because dumating ako. e mas gusto ko na manalo tayo. pero isip ko rin, baka nga ma-default. so kahit na nagdadalawang isip, pumupunta pa rin ako sa bawat game natin. pero on the way, mula paranaque hanggang greenhills, constant ang dasal ko --- sana di ako magkalat. sana maka-contribute ako sa team. sana manalo kami. hindi na para sa akin kundi para sa inyo na malaki ang puhunan sa team na ito.

nung dumating na sa point na lagi na lang do-or-die, natuwa naman ako at marami nang uma-attend. nakakahinga na rin ako kasi marami sa girls ang uma-attend. ibig sabihin, hindi ako required na ipasok. natuwa rin ako kasi nananalo tayo. ang sarap ng feeling. hahaha!

sayang lang, sa last 2 games, hindi tayo nanalo. hanggang ngayon naman, malaki ang paniniwala ko na kaya nating umabot sa finals. pero since tapos na, next year na lang.

anyway, gusto ko lang din magpasalamat sa lahat-lahat. sa pagbibigay sa akin ng chance maglaro. sa di pagpapagalit sa akin kapag sumasablay ako. sa pagtitimpi tuwing crucial part na ng game. sa pagtulong sa akin mag-improve sa paglalaro ng volleyball. salamat ng maraming marami. malay nyo, isang araw, maging kasing galing nyo na ako. :)

thank you for the great experience of playing with you. i will miss our saturday/sunday games.

*hands in* 1-2-3... yes! :)

p.s. pahabol lang sa special mentions
1. pet --- idol! grabe to the next level ang galing at pasensya mo. kung merong tinatawag na leadership by example, ikaw yun. ikaw ang pinakamasipag sa court, ang nagmo-motivate sa lahat, ang di natitinag sa pagpapraktis sa amin, ang laging andiyan kapag may laro. nag-reminisce nga kami ni christian at sabi ko, kahit di ka pa sap practice, kilala na kita kasi galit ako sa iyo dati. kasi ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit natatalo kami. hahahaha! buti na lang, kakampi ka na namin ngayon. salamat, boss (yes, ikaw talaga ang boss)

2. free --- isa ka pang boss! napanood na kita last year pero di ko na-realize kung gaano ka kagaling until nakita ko ng malapitan. ang masasabi ko lang, bow ako! ang galing galing galing mo! sayang at konti lang sa team natin ang nakakaalam nito. isa ka pang ever-present, ever-"kaya natin to". proud akong maging teammate mo --- in and out of the volleyball court!

3. pao --- ikaw ang galing and entertainment in one! kapag ikaw na ang magse-serve or papalo, lagi akong nakaabang kung ano ang gagawin mo at kung paano mo gagawin. sa bawat game, di ko alam kung happy pao ka or bitchy pao. but either way, constant naman na magaling ka. heehee! favorite moment ko ang taray moment mo. sayang, wala akong camera nun. kodak moment yun, e!

4. zippy --- utang ko sa iyo kung bakit ako kasama sa team na ito. maraming salamat kahit na na-stress ako ng bonggang bongga nung sinama mo ako sa lineup.

5. papa ben --- ikaw na ang overall player --- pwede spiker, tosser, libero. may sense of calmness ako kapag andiyan ka. cool ka lang kasi kahit na anong nangyayari sa loob at labas ng court.

6. nyan --- ilang beses lang tayo nagkasama sa games pero nung sinabi mong, "sipag lang", tinotoo mo ng bonggang bongga. saludo ako sa iyo.

7. christian --- ang partner ko sa cheering! in fairness, may gamit talaga ang malakas nating boses. :) next time kasi, mag-ingat para di nagkakasakit kapag may game! :P

8. mia --- idol din kita! galing mong pumalo! ang galing mong mag-volleyball, period. parang di ka dapat i-classify sa girls, e. hahaha! :)

9. hilda --- ikaw ata ang hardest working girl sa volleyball team. kung si pet ang laging andiyan sa boys, ikaw ang laging andiyan sa girls. habol kung habol. at lagi pang naka-smile.

10. nica --- ikaw na ang maraming fans. but then again, expected na yun. maganda na, magaling pa. saan ka pa naman?

11. jill --- natuwa ako sa last usap natin about you-know-what. hehehe! natutuwa din ako sa iyo kasi parati kang naka-smile kahit na crunch time na. :)

12. pia --- natutuwa ako kasi nagkasama tayo outside of the office. and outside of bowling. :) salamat sa pakikinig sa lahat ng kuwento at tsismis ko. hahaha... next year ulet!

13. joana and janice --- ang mga kasama ko pang cheerers. thanks for keeping the "yes" in SAP Practice! :) fun ang games kapag andiyan kayo. :)

ulet, maraming maraming maraming salamat sa inyo. i love you all. bow.

starting the year

start of the year. and really, i haven't done much retrospective thinking or any planning for the future. it might be because i am still in vacation mode and i don't want to do a lot of thinking these days. also because these days, thinking makes me reason and sometimes, it really doesn't help my state of being.

i was looking at my previous posts just to give me an insight on what happened last year. i've been remiss in my writing in this blog. i guess my problem is that i procrastinate a lot of times and then everything balloons up. instead of starting with the writing, i just don't write. period. i know it does not make sense but that was what i kept on doing. hopefully, i won't be doing that this year. (is that a resolution?)

this time last year, i was having the same shitty feeling. and nothing could put things into perspective than seeing it in black and white. makes me wonder how i got so... stupid. but i made an ultimatum and i'm sticking to it. so that goodbye really is final. (God help me if i back out of this again).

2008 was a year of challenges for me. ang dami kong trials when it came to work. it was my first time to lead an RTCIS project. halos duguin ako sa mga projects na hinawakan ko. i know i still have a lot to learn on being a project manager. and i am hoping that my experiences have taught me to be a better PM. i helped in creating an RFP. ang hirap din niya, especially when it has to be done immediately and of course, knowing what depends on what you produce. i am still awed by how good some of my teammates are. sometimes i wish i was that good as well. but most of the time, i am just proud of them. it was my first time to go outside of the account this year, too. it was my first glimpse on how true consulting work is. ang hirap din pala niya. it was a good experience, though. and that's not even couting the fact that because of it, i was able to go to france, italy and monaco. it's also my first time to lead a project out of emea. the nice thing about that is, i was recommended by our client manager to do the job. nakakataba rin ng puso knowing that people believe in what you can do. because of this, i was able to go to madrid and meet a lot of wonderful people.

on the personal side, i don't think i've progressed much. i went out with a couple of people, mostly for coffee. with one, i realized that there's no point in holding on to the ideas i had in the past when we've obviously changed a lot after 10 years. with the other, i realized that there's no point in holding on to possibilities of the future. karla was civilly married this year. unfortunately, i was not in the philippines for it. she gave birth to yuan patrick, an amazingly wonderful baby. thankfully, i was here for that one. yuan would always smile and make adorable sounds, you cannot help but fall in love with him. our family went to boracay for a vacation and to celebrate ate tetet and kuya weng's anniversary. it was a first for our family and we had loads of fun (especially during our foodtrips!). a couple of my friends and colleagues got married this year, too --- rolan and krizel, roland and lu, jay and ninay, myn and lloyd. i've also made contact with some friends from long ago (thanks in part to facebook... hehehe!)

overall, it's been a good year. a lot of challenges but a lot of blessings too. i am hoping that 2009 will be a better year for me, though. :)

proof...

... na talagang bilog ako ever since



... na maldita talaga si ate. hehehe!



... na likas akong bungisngis



... na pa-cute pala ako noon



... pero may mas pa-cute kesa sa akin

our boys

when we were going out during friday nights in cincinnati, it's usually me, audrey, carmel and jay together. beyond our core group of four, we usually hang out with guys, much to jay's dismay. we would go out with carmel's friends, andrew, justin, kyle, louis and sarah or hang out with sheryl's group (which is also mostly guys) or maybe have some teammates with us. we usually go clubbing on friday nights --- either at main strauss or at metropolis. by mid-week, we're already excited with the idea of our friday night out.

i've always surrounded myself with girlfriends, from way back high school and then on to college. even when i started working, i still had girlfriends. so being surrounded with guy friends is quite a change for me. it's nice, though. i had a wonderful time with my guy friends. and although i may not spend time with them anymore, the experiences we had together is a huge part of why i enjoyed my stay in cincinnati.

thanks, guys!