there are a lot of things i dream of doing... like sing professionally or write a really good piece. sometimes i feel like i'm a jill of all trades. that i can do a lot of things but can't do something REALLY well. sure, i can sing. but never in front of a lot of people. my voice breaks, my knees shake and everything just falls apart.
when i was young, i joined a local singing contest. the day before the competition, i had a sore throat. up to this day, i still don't know what made me think i had a fighting chance of winning. because when i went up to the stage, aside from having an inaudible voice, i was so nervous i had to convince myself to sing.
the second time i joined a competition, i was a little bit older. being part of my high school chorale gave me the wrong impression that i had a little bit of an edge. how wrong i was! the moment i stepped on the stage, i was so nervous i almost forgot the lines of my song! and the list goes on and on.
the most recent one (and hopefully i can remember the bad luck i have had so it would be my last) was during a get-together with ex-officemates. we were having a great time listening to the performing band when the lead singers had this great idea of asking some of the members of the audience to sing. as the male lead singer was going down the stage, my frineds pointed there finger at me (i still have no idea how to make them pay for it).
the truth? part of me wanted to sing on stage and confirm the idea that i CAN be a singer (even for just the duration of a song's refrain). but part of me was again scared out of my wits. i had to convince myself to smile, keep still and try not to run from the stage. i really wanted to do a good job not just for myself but for my friends, as well. unfortunately, my streak of bad luck (or bad notes) has not yet run out.
so now i am trying my luck AGAIN in writing. hopefully, this will bring me more success than i have had in singing. :)
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