overwhelmed

i feel like i am in a long, long pool and trying hard to swim to the end. i am running out of breath and even when i try to gasp for air, it would just take me a moment and i am struggling again. i could not stop swimming because then, i will drown. i have to keep on going. the end just seems so far ahead, i could not see it. i just tell myself, "breathe, swim, breathe". i know that when i reach the end of the pool, i would be so exhausted... wondering why i ever did start in the first place. i just hope that when it is over, i would also feel a sense of accomplishment and see the reason for it all.

birthday girl

mom turned a year older yesterday. we wanted to celebrate her birthday by going out of town for a swim but she decided not to. the practical person that she is, she said she'd rather just have a simple dinner with the family and use the money we would've spent for other more important matters. we tried talking her out of it but once she has her mind set, it's a bit hard to convince her otherwise.

mom's day started early as we went to hear mass. after that, we went to the blessed sacrament to say some prayers. i used that time to thank God for giving another year to mom and asking Him to continue to bless her, keep her safe and give her more strength. after that, off we went to powerbooks (which is our pastime when we go to alabang town center). we spent a few hours there just relaxing and then off to lunch we went. as usual, it was packed in the mall as you would expect during lunch on a sunday so we had to wait for a while before we had our stomachs filled. i went to festival mall to have my annual physical exam while the rest of them went back to powerbooks. before i went home, i bought three red roses for mom (as dad requested) and just texted them not to wait for me (we didn't want mom to see the roses before dinner).

when we got home, we started preparing the house as we waited for the guests to arrive. mom was really excited seeing franco again since it was four days since she last saw her favorite grandson (the only one at the moment). soon after that, our other relatives started arriving. there was the usual chitchat and the lolas were dancing and singing as they tried to amuse franco. before the day ended, aljo got dad's gift (the roses, a bar of nestle crunch --- dad's favorite chocolate and a birthday card) and gave it to our birthday girl. of course, dad also made sure he was able to talk to mom even if he was miles away.

happy birthday to the best mom ever! love you, mom!

gusto kong matutong mag-drive...

ilang taon ko nang gustong matutong mag-drive pero hindi na lang natutuloy. lagi ko na lang sinasabi na mag-e-enroll na ako at mag-aaral pero lagi na lang walang nangyayari.

hanggang nung sabado.

una akong nakasakay sa driver seat ng kotse ko kahapon. nakaka-praning! sobrang bagal ko na ngang magmaneho, ilang beses pa ata akong muntik nang makagasgas ng ibang kotse. buti na lang cool na cool si kuya reggie habang tinuturuan niya ako. ilang beses na nga kaming umikot-ikot sa village nila, hirap na hirap pa rin ako. mas madali pang gawin ang trabaho ko kaysa magmaneho ng kotse! automatic pa yan sa lagay na yan!

bibilangin kaya ng taon bago ako makapag-drive ng maayos?

of crosses and dragons

lent is a time of reflection and prayer. a few years back, karla and i, together with our friends joined the senakulo (live stations of the cross). we would practice for hours at a time, making sure we memorized our lines and said them correctly. it was a bit hard for me and i honestly believe i have no future as an actor. for the past few years, however, karla and i decided to be spectators for a change.

aside from watching the senakulo, we also attended the washing of the feet (maundy thursday) and the veneration of the cross (good friday). i have to give all the credit to mom for making sure that we go and attend all these. without her, we would have made all kinds of excuses not to go.

one of the things that i really enjoyed about the holy week was that it gave me time to relax, take my mind off work and do one of the things i love doing --- reading.

sandeep lent me his book, eragon written by christopher paolini. before giving it to me, he said that it was like harry potter but while reading it, i thought it was a lord-of-the-rings-for-kids. it was about a boy, eragon, who accidentally found a dragon's egg though he didn't know it was an egg at that time. when it hatched, he secretly took care of the dragon who he named saphira. the book was about his adventures and his transformation from a simple farm boy to a revered dragon rider. i thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. to think that christopher paolini started writing this when he was but fifteen! imagine that! when here i am, having a hard time just writing a short entry here!

i sure hope the second book is as good as the first.

perfect.

i watched an episode of oprah (the episodes shown in our local channels are months late, unfortunately) where she had both salma hayek and beyonce knowles as her guests. rose and irish likes j-lo but i absolutely adore beyonce. singing seems to be so effortless for her and she hits those high notes with such ease. but although beyonce is one of my favorite singers, i honestly believe salma's interview with oprah stood out more. one short conversation that oprah and salma had was about what she would do if she did not find the right guy. salma answered this one pretty well.

salma: i will have the perfect, right guy.
oprah: you will.
salma: why not? i am a great, perfect, right girl.

i agree.

dad

it's been four days since my dad left for the US to finish his nursing course. yes, my dad is one of the many filipino doctors that left their practice here to study again and hopefully, land a good paying job in the states. if he had his own way, he would've stayed. i know because he had all the opportunities back when he was young and just starting a family -- but he decided that it would be better to be with us and have a harder time earning his pay than going off somewhere, having abundant money but being a virtual father. and he was never that. he was always there for us all through these years, making sure we were well-provided for. so a few days ago, he packed his bags again to do this again. he went to the US, with little money and all our love and prayers, hoping that landing a job there would eventually mean more opportunities for my younger siblings.

so now it's back to emails and late night chats with dad. we all miss him dearly, my mom most especially but it won't be too long until we'll be together again.