i should start screaming

i cry when i am pissed. it's probably the way my body releases the pent up negative energy that i try to keep bottled up. sometimes, i even try not to cry. although, i very seldom succeed in doing that.

obviously, i am not a confrontational person. as much as i can, i try not to stir up arguments eventhough sometimes it's the right way, or even the only way to go. i guess i've always seen confrontations as a point of no return. once you've said something, you cannot take it back. and the scars that the argument leaves tarnishes the relationship you have.

i know, i know... arguments are a part of any relationship. i just never got used to it. even when i was young, i would often just cry in a corner and never speak up. i am very outspoken when it comes to my opinions as long as they are never directed to someone.

my aunt has said, too many times before, that the probable reason why our maternal grandmother suffered from alzheimer's is that she kept her feelings bottled inside and thought too much. so now i am wondering... in the distant future, will i walk the same path as her?