keeping in touch

before going home last friday, i decided to say hi to my friends and former teammates in cincinnati. dave, jay and kim just said hi while i got to chat with francisco, kamal and kevin. as always, i had a nice time chatting with them and it was nice to be keeping in touch with the guys after months of being away. sadly, it might be the last time i get to talk with kevin. he's leaving the company and friday was his last day. i guess, at the back of my mind, i was thinking that one day i could go back to cincinnati and see them all (and maybe work with them) again.

it's nice to keep in touch with friends. i know i haven't been doing much of that the past years and i know i should've. i've lost contact with friends and teammates from japan and even friends from high school. i've recently texted joel and we're planning to have coffee some time when he goes to ortigas. i've emailed some friends just to say hi and basically to know how they are.

so hello to all my friends. this is me reaching out, hopefully not too late. :)

confused

i am not one to be open about my feelings, especially when they're not nice feelings. it's easy for me to show my happiness or excitement but never sadness or pain. i'd rather go to a dark corner and cry without anybody seeing it, as i've always done since i was little. at this point, i really do not know if i am blocking my feelings to pretend that everything is alright with the world or if i really am okay and do not feel anything at all. maybe if i spend time thinking about it, i may discover a dam that's about to burst. but the thing is, i don't want to think about it. i can't really feel anything when i don't even think about it, can i?

what's done is done. it doesn't even matter how much time i spend thinking about it because it doesn't change a thing. i still won't understand. i still would feel disappointed. i would still be dismayed.

i wish i could pinch myself and discover everything is a dream. more of a nightmare, really. but no matter how much i pinch, i just discover that i am awake... and that all this is true. so enough with the physical pain because i might just discover that the emotional one already hurts too damn much.

a birthday greeting...

everyone probably think their mom is the best mom in the world. i know i do.

to the woman who has always been strong and courageous and unselfish...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!

may God continue to bless you and guide you through your most troubled times. we're always here for you. we love you very much!