gruelling

after weeks of studying, basically having no life and being a loser, i went to take my certification exam. nakakatakot kasi feeling ko ang dami kong hindi alam. but there was no other option but to go through the exam. nag-send pa ako sa team ko ng invite na ipagdasal kami ng 10 am. isip ko kasi, baka madaan sa dasal, kung hindi sa napag-aralan namin. i even told my mom to start praying at 10 am and not to stop until i text her i passed.

while waiting for the exam to start, nagsimulang magtanungan yung mga kasama ko. and i was thinking, "oh God, i am so dead". i started reading again, hoping that whatever else i read in those few minutes would help me pass.

the exam was soooo hard! nakakaloka siya! may mga questions na iniisip ko, "wala naman ito sa binasa ko e!". may mga questions naman na medyo alam ko yung sagot pero di ako sure. and thankfully, meron naman ding mga alam ko talaga.

one by one, the other examinees were finishing their own exams. ang usapan, bawal mag-react, kahit ano ang maging resulta. when mark, my teammate (and seatmate then), announced that he was ready to submit his exam, sabi ko, "pwede sumilip?" ok naman daw sa kanya basta mauna siya tumingin sa results. when i peeked, nakita ko na pumasa siya. then i thought, "oh God! anong gagawin ko kung bumagsak ako?" di ko kasi talaga alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa team at sa manager ko na di ako pumasa. by the end of two hours, i was so tired, wala na akong maiilabas sa utak ko. nag-check lang ako na wala akong na-miss na questions at nagdasal. sabi ko, "Lord, ikaw na ang bahala dito. wala na akong magagawa". then i mustered enough courage to click the End Exam button. i was expecting to see the results immediately when another message box popped asking, "Are you sure you want to end the exam?". kulang na lang magmura ako ng "p***! sabi ng end exam e!". pero syempre, nag-isip pa talaga ako kung tatapusin ko na ba. kaya lang kasi, wala na rin talaga akong mailalabas pa kaya go na.

Congratulations! You passed the exam.

yahoooo!!! gusto kong tumalon sa tuwa pero dahil napagkasunduan na walang magre-react, tumayo lang ako at lumabas. paglabas ko, tanong sila mark sa akin kung kamusta. dun lang ako nag-react. pero more than happiness, i was relieved. relieved that i passed and relieved that it's all over.

dun na ako nagsimulang mag-text at tumawag sa mga tao... kay mommy, aj, auds, mylene. nag-text din sina raffy at ryan. ang question lang ni ryan was, ":-) or :-(" sagot ako ng ":-) and :-)" for me and mark. ang response ni ryan, wagi! and it's the truth. wagi talaga.