still not moving on

they say you have to forgive and forget.

i know i've blogged about this before. but when someone you love betrays you, it's hard to forgive... or even forget. sometimes, i feel it's better not to think about it so that i won't feel the hurt. because everytime i remember what happened, i can't help but shed some tears. even if i am just hearing a song that reminds me of that person, my heart feels like it's being squeezed so tightly. so i push it aside, away from my thoughts, so that i won't have to go through my day feeling so down. sometimes i think that maybe this is all a dream and when i wake up, things will go back to the way they were. but this is the bitter reality, the bitter truth. and as much as i wish that it were not true, it is.

goodbyes

as the final day draws near, my heart constricts. my heart is getting heavier everyday and might burst at the seams when the day finally arrives. but i also understand that it's something that needs to happen and i have no control over it. even if i do, i would not want to influence it as the decision is not mine to take. what is supposed to happen will.

moving on

di naman ako inggitera. di din naman ako ambisyosa. pero minsan, parang feeling ko, napag-iiwanan na ako. di naman ata siya dahil sa lack of effort. sure, di ako bibo, aminado naman ako. pero sa tingin ko naman, i have also something to offer. so isip ko, baka di ko na makikita kung ano ang hinahanap ko kung nasaan ako ngayon. i might need to be more open to other opportunities and possibilities and go out of my comfort zone. i might have been getting too comfortable where i am kaya eto ang nangyari.

small talk

ang hirap talaga mag-small talk. i guess, i'm more of a listener than a talker. nag-lunch kami kanina at kelangan ko talagang bumibo mag-isip ng mga topics para may mapag-usapan kami. kasi mga kasama namin is mga bossing ng client sa project and mahirap naman na di namin sila kausapin. kaya nga bilib na bilib ako sa mga tao na magaling makipag-usap... na nakakahanap ng topics na pwede mapag-usapan kahit na first time nila mag-meet. sabi ko nga sa mga teammates ko, buti na lang at ngayon lang ito kasi naubos ko na ata ang small talk ko for the day, wala na akong sasabihin for tomorrow. hahahaha... :D

the year that was

isang taon na pala since my last post. so obviously, hindi ako naging masipag mag-post last year. di ko na rin tuloy matandaan ang mga nangyari. buti na lang may facebook:

ginia and sam got married... met with joel before he and his family went to new zealand... jeddah cutover... boracay getaway with mark, aj and rogel... three week vacation after six years... we finally have cable tv!!!... bicol escapade with tsongers kahit na inulan kami ng todo... lunch and coffee with college barkada... palawan outing with nessy, chean, rogel, mark and arthur, my first time in palawan... yuan's first birthday... cory aquino's death.... caitlyn's first birthday... martha's birthday, celebrated with the tsongers... PD gets divided, sad... kaze frontlining for parokya, went with mayel, karla and prijm... first time in princeton... meet up with college barkada... back to princeton... road trip to atlantic city with KL... met new friends in princeton... pacquiao wins against cotto, watched at tita olga's sister's place... statue of liberty for the first time, got lost!... thanksgiving with the marasigans for the third time... thanksgiving weekend shopping... MMCS christmas party at mark's place... SAP christmas party at blue leaf... tsongers' christmas party at the bulates... christmas outreach with viajeros... alec leon is born, congrats, alice and noel!... christmas with the marasigans... ate mayel leaves for new york... back in NJ for cutover with stip, beng and micko... meet up with doms and ronram in NYC... times square for the new year!

marami din naman palang nangyari. hopefully i can keep a better track of things that are happening to me via this blog this year.