happy thoughts

"happiness is everything and anything at all that's loved by you..."

i promised myself that i would write about something positive today. so after being inspired by the song, i asked friends (well, at least those that are in aol messenger) this question: "what is the one thing that makes you happy?". their replies ranged from the simple to the profound.

eden: playing with my nieces and nephews never fail to make my day :)

rish: weekends tsong... friday night :) 3 day weekend... the best! :)

neil: girls... joke lang... friends..........

brian: si helena! :)

donita: giving away something worthwhile anonymously and (this should not be necessary but i still haven't grown yet) knowing that someone appreciates the gift.

mami bhing: pag nakakita ako ng mga kakikayan, natutuwa ako. sa ngayon, ang kinatutuwaan ko, bracelet.. bag.. at sandals pa rin na kikay! :).. kahit window shopping lang, masaya na ko... para na rin akong bumili..heheheh..lukaret noh!

pogie: buong katotohanan... either shopping or a new hairstyle

berto: ung hagikhik ni martha

martha: yung bulate ko.

goodbye, nanay

i opened my chikka window to see if i had any messages and there it was. a message from karla. nanay (our paternal grandma) died this morning. my first thought was, "my God! does dad already know?"

nanay and i have never really seen eye to eye. not that i could remember. we just were never close. when i heard the news, it did not matter how we were before... i was just sad. maybe because whichever way i look at it, she is still part of who i am. she is family. i hope she's happy and at peace wherever she is now.

say a prayer for her, please.

home is where the heart is

it's a mere five days before i finally go home. i haven't really been here in australia that long (only a month, actually) but i just miss home so much. some people actually ask me why i want to go back so soon. i even met some filipinos here in parramatta who encouraged me to think about staying here for good.

i've often thought about working in a foreign country. i always believed i could brave the loneliness and homesickness when the need arises. however, it never occurred to me to relocate. money-wise, there is no question where i would be getting a higher income. but the philippines IS home. and at this point, i feel like nothing can change that. it's disheartening to know that some filipinos do not feel the same.

the philippines might not be the best place in the world but it's where my heart is. wherever my job or my personal endeavors take me, i will always come back.

blogaboo

martha now also has her own blog! woohoooo!!! check it out and decide whether she is as her blog title says she is. (though her friends already know the answer to that --- hahaha!).

i also just learned that pogs also has his own blog. i've always known pogs to be very opinionated and prides himself in having a way with words. so i'm not surprised to see how long his blog entries were. go, read and learn more about him there... but the live version is much more interesting. :)

welcome to blog mania!

i came, i saw and i finally conquered sydney!

a few weeks back, rolan asked me if i wanted to go with them to sydney. his friend joel was coming over from melbourne and johnson's dad was arriving with him from china. i eagerly said yes because i haven't really been around.

last saturday, after a great breakfast to start our day, we left the pacific international hotel (where the guys are staying) to head for the wharf. we boarded the sydney ferry to go to the circular quay. everyone got really excited when we were nearing the docks 'coz we could see the sydney opera house and the harbour bridge from the ferry. we were not satisfied from taking pictures from the ferry, however. we hurriedly went to the opera house to take pictures from there! then we ran all the way back to catch a ferry to manly beach. we watched the surfers crash into the waves as we downed our kebabs and colas. then johnson and his father took more pictures. i didn't take pictures here because i thought coogee and bondi are much better beaches than manly. i have to go back there one of these days. :)

we then went back to circular quay to catch another ferry to taronga zoo. i tried to wait patiently but i couldn't. i was so excited to see the kangaroos and the koalas. the kangaroo area was very different from the usual since people can go inside and see the animals face to face. i thought kangaroos were supposed to be big... well, bigger than me. but the ones we saw were just around two feet and were really cute! i even got to feed one! =) we were not as lucky with the koalas, however. they were both sleeping when we arrived at their cages. johnson was trying to wake them up (we could not touch the koalas, by the way) but i guess they were having a good dream, they woudn't even move! we then went to see the seals, a gigantic alligator, the red pandas (who looked like a fox more than a panda), penguins and a lot of other animals. we went back to circular quay to catch our last ferry for the day, going to darling harbour. my feet were aching terribly at this point.

excitement got the better of me as we walked to the sydney aquarium. ever since i was a kid, i was fascinated by underwater plants and animals. i even thought of being a marine biologist. the first few minutes were kinda lame. it was just like going to a pet shop and looking at fishes --- some fishes really looked ugly. hahaha! then we went through a hallway that led us way, way down the aquarium. and when we entered the room, there they were... sharks! a lot of them! and two were HUGE! they were swimming all around you, you'd really get awestruck. there was also a big mantaray and a few more ugly fishes. :) after that, we went inside another room... the finding nemo room. it was great because they filled up this big aquarium with fishes like those found in the movie! and you really HAD to find nemo! i thought it was really cool. :)

we finished our tiring day-long adventure with a dinner in chinatown. we let johnson and his dad choose --- we were all too tired and we couldn't decide which one to get. after dinner, all of us walked to the train station with full stomachs and not-so-rested feet. it took all of my willpower to stay awake during the train ride home.

now i can go back to the philippines. :)

a spark of brightness

i learned yesterday that a friend of mine is cheating on his girlfriend.

what was i supposed to do? i wanted to ask him why... why he was doing it even when he knew it was wrong. was it because they weren't together and he missed having someone? was it because having a romantic interlude appealed to him? was it just for fun? i don't know. i don't understand. i want to understand. because it changed how i saw my friend.

i know we all have our own set of beliefs, our own values. but somehow, i am not yet adept at understanding principles that clash with mine.

there is a continuous battle within myself when this happens... whether to voice out my opinions or not. not many questions get answered when you don't ask. but i don't want to sound self-righteous in the process of getting my answers. so usually, i ask another person... and take their perspective about it. though this rarely makes me understand the situation, it does give me a chance to know another person deeper and more meaningfully. stories get unravelled, hearts are opened and friendships are made. it gives a brighter side to the not-so-good things in life.

fairy tales

how do we perceive things? i sometimes think we create our own world, based on our dreams and wishes... by what we want and hope to have. there have been instances when i had to stop and remind myself to look at things in a more realistic way. i sometimes tell myself that i may be putting too much meaning into things.

so what do you do when you realize that what you've thought to be the truth wasn't true all along? hmmm...

ditch reality. my fantasy world's better. :)

kinda like hot chocolate during winter

on my way home from church yesterday (home being the hotel at the moment), i passed by a department store and saw an advertisement for men's clothing. the guy was smiling as though he was a bit sheepish about something. and i said to myself, "what a great smile". wouldn't it be great to be with a person with a smile that just warms you up inside? sigh.

feeling good

had a good workout last saturday after exactly three weeks. i have been going to the gym for some time now. it actually started as an impulsive decision --- a trial for three months. however, i enjoyed it so much (thanks to the trainers and instructors) that i have decided to continue my membership.

when i went i was told i would be going to australia for a business trip, one of the things i thought of was my workout schedule. i knew there was a fitness first branch in australia but i had no idea where it was. when i saw that it was near the hotel i was staying in, i was so happy. i promised myself i would go there at least once. i went to another gym near the area which is the one connected with my hotel. however, it just didn't feel the same. the motivation to work out was not there --- i left after less than an hour. i was actually worried that i might feel the same thing when i went to fitness first in parramatta. i didn't want that to happen because that would mean one thing for me --- it's not fitness first as a whole, it's only fitness first alabang that i enjoy going to. however, there was no reason for me to think that way. i was awestruck from the moment i arrived. i enjoyed every minute i spent there. it didn't just feel good to be doing some exercise... i felt great just being there. funny as it may sound, it felt a little bit like home to me. :)

trying-hard me

there are a lot of things i dream of doing... like sing professionally or write a really good piece. sometimes i feel like i'm a jill of all trades. that i can do a lot of things but can't do something REALLY well. sure, i can sing. but never in front of a lot of people. my voice breaks, my knees shake and everything just falls apart.

when i was young, i joined a local singing contest. the day before the competition, i had a sore throat. up to this day, i still don't know what made me think i had a fighting chance of winning. because when i went up to the stage, aside from having an inaudible voice, i was so nervous i had to convince myself to sing.

the second time i joined a competition, i was a little bit older. being part of my high school chorale gave me the wrong impression that i had a little bit of an edge. how wrong i was! the moment i stepped on the stage, i was so nervous i almost forgot the lines of my song! and the list goes on and on.

the most recent one (and hopefully i can remember the bad luck i have had so it would be my last) was during a get-together with ex-officemates. we were having a great time listening to the performing band when the lead singers had this great idea of asking some of the members of the audience to sing. as the male lead singer was going down the stage, my frineds pointed there finger at me (i still have no idea how to make them pay for it).

the truth? part of me wanted to sing on stage and confirm the idea that i CAN be a singer (even for just the duration of a song's refrain). but part of me was again scared out of my wits. i had to convince myself to smile, keep still and try not to run from the stage. i really wanted to do a good job not just for myself but for my friends, as well. unfortunately, my streak of bad luck (or bad notes) has not yet run out.

so now i am trying my luck AGAIN in writing. hopefully, this will bring me more success than i have had in singing. :)

in the beginning...

i guess in everything, the hardest part is when you're starting out. this is my third time to try and put my thoughts out here in the web but i am still stumped on what to write as my first entry. oh well... :)

special mention to rose who has done every way to convince me to do this (even looking for my blog host). thanks, rose!