single... for life?

i think i am getting old. and it's worrying my friends more than i am.

aren and i were talking about how we weren't able to celebrate birthdays in the office anymore. i suggested that we renew our monthly collection so that we can all chip in for birthday cakes for the celebrants. aren noted that i won't be here on my birthday because i am slated to go on a business trip that time.

aren: sayang, may ipapa-date pa naman sana kami sa iyo pagdating ng birthday mo
me: aren, kapag hindi totoo yan, lagot ka sa akin

so aren took my statement seriously and started thinking of guys she can pair me up with. came merienda, joey, sol, sarah and eric all knew about aren's plan. she was even listing qualities that the person has to have to be "qualified".

i didn't know if i would find it extremely amusing or utterly embarrasing!

most of the time, i don't mind being single. my life is fulfilling enough as it is. but sometimes, you cannot help but think about it. like when you're with your barkada with everyone else bringing their partners. or when your aunt is seriously considering setting you up with someone 12 years your senior. or when the whole clan is asking when you will have a boyfriend because all your other siblings (younger ones at that) already have one.

i remember asking eden if it is possible to have a vocation you don't want. i was wondering if i am meant to be single when i do want to have a family. she said that it's probably not going to happen if i don't want my life to take that path. but really, that conflicts with what my mom once said. that you might be fighting a calling that God wants for you --- and eventually, you just have to give in.

so what really is my vocation? i don't know. i guess only time will really tell.