(lack of) lovelife

the conversation started last friday, as we were stuffing ourselves with montgomery inn ribs:

(conversation below is non-verbatim)

ameya: are you still living at your parents' house?
me and ria: yes.
me: it's normal for single people in the philippines to live in their parents' house until they get married.
me again: but if ever i am still single by the time i am 40 (knocking on wood), i would want to be living on my own.
ameya (laughing): you SHOULD be married by then.
me: well, if it happens, then sure. but i am not getting married just for the sake of it.

yes, i do want to get married and have a family. but if it does not happen, then i am not about to force it. i even told my mom once before that if ever she thinks i am marrying out of desperation, she'd have to do everything to convince me out of it. see, she has a friend who did this and is now experiencing loads of marital problems. if couples who were once head-over-heels in love with each other find themselves in that situation, what more for two people who were not in love to begin with?

ameya asked me why don't i try dating sites, a lot of which are available here. i told him i don't want to "force" having a boyfriend. if i was meant to meet him, then i don't have to go finding him. couples have met and fallen in love long before the internet was born. i have nothing against people who have used this means to find their partners. i just don't think this is the right way for me.

this has even become the subject of jokes in my family. my sisters have jokingly told me that they're going to take it upon themselves to find me a boyfriend. my dad even teased me that all i need is to point and he'll kidnap the guy for me.

i don't know what the future holds. i am still hoping that what i want for myself is in line with what God has planned for me. i am hoping that we just have different timelines. but if ever it's not, i am just hoping that i will be strong, open and mature enough to accept it. or maybe, my dad has to kidnap my future husband, after all.