as i was going to work this morning, i thought of something... i've always imagined spending my life with someone. i guess being a romantic does that to you. i cherish every giddy feeling... those that i experience first hand and even those that i've felt through the stories of my friends. but after a while, i've trained myself not to dwell too much on the thought of a special someone. at the back of my head, though, i still think that maybe one day, what i want and what God has planned for me will coincide. so here's what i've been thinking... what if waiting for that person is setting myself up for disappointment. see, what if i was just too caught up with the idea of being in love that when someone comes along, i may think that i was in love even if i was not? wouldn't that be a recipe for eventual heartache? maybe that's the reason why i try to think things through before i let my feelings get the best of me. controlled emotions ba. on the other hand, i've been accused of over-analyzing things. i think too much daw. so i guess, it's possible 'no? feeling too much and thinking too much at the same time. hindi kaya sumabog ako nito?
wala lang. it's a scary thought that i might be setting myself up for disaster. this, even before anything has ever happened. i might be getting cynical.
9 comments:
Hello. Just saw your musings. My grain of salt here. When it comes to matters of "forever", "finding someone" or "rest-of-our-lives things", you can never over-analyze. In fact, those people who believe in whirlwind romances often end in disaster. There is nothing wrong in putting much thought about your decisions to love and be loved. Cliche as it may sound, your head is above your heart.
However, the irony is our tendency to become fatalistic at some point. When we say there is someone out there, we leave ourselves to fate. But of course, there should be someone out there for us. However, it is us who will decide if the person we have or would like to have is the one "out there" --- either through self-realization or unilateral action by person himself or herself.
I am blabbering but the point is, you never "over-analyze" things like these.
-the one that got away-
thanks for dropping by, the one that got away. :) your name is very interesting. made me ask, who did you get away from? and did you really want to get away from that person? :)
my thoughts on your thoughts:
when you're deciding to enter into a relationship or getting into that next level, whether it be marriage or something else, yes, i would agree with you. it probably would be better if you think things over and over again. i don't think that is my case, though. i just get into the habit of thinking about these things even if i am not in that situation just yet.
i still believe that there is someone out there for me. but then, maybe i'll revisit this idea when i am 40 and still single. maybe my views have changed by then. :)
dear maganda,
my name has a long story to it. one of these days i will tell you and i am very sure my explanation will put a smile on your face. my name has a life-long implication and i am sure when i am on my sickbed, i will still be thinking about the one that got away.
at any rate, i have been reading your blog and i find it very interesting. these are the kinds of stuff that only come from people who are contemplative and bola aside, intelligent.
this blog entry that i commented on is very relevant to me --- the idea of over-analyzing and decision-making through one's brains or one's heart. the idea of someone out there meant for you and you alone. the idea that we are presented but one chance to find that someone and a little indecision can make us lose her or him at a flick of a finger.
hay, buhay nga naman. anyway, if you need to pour out anything just cc my yahoo address and maybe we can be friends through our thoughts placed on computer screens. my yahoo and YM address is gwapingsobra@yahoo.com
hope you keep on blogging.
me,
the one that got away
i am sure it will be very interesting to hear your story although i doubt if it would make me smile. seems like you're regretting losing someone very special and stories like those are not usually happy. i might be wrong, though.
it's nice to know that someone other than my friends think my posts are interesting since i usually find my stories kind of boring. maybe because i am the one who's in the middle of it. but i have friends who write so much better than i do. this is just my attempt to be a writer and share my thoughts to the world. it's difficult if you keep it all in. i might go insane if i don't. :)
for sure, i'll be blogging. hopefully not all of them will be as serious as this one. :)
do you blog? if not, maybe you should. seems like you have a lot of stories to share. :)
Dear Maganda,
It was just an ordinary today and I was going about my usual routine but something told me visit the net and see if you have replied. Wala lang, it was just this guttural urge to visit your blog.
Anyway, I hope everything is fine with you and your family. Kakatawa lang. Sa kakabasa ko ng blog mo, parang nakikilala ko na din family mo. Ang galing lang kasi everytime we write, even subconsciously, we leave our personal stamps through our thoughts and words.
I don't blog. But I love to write. In fact, my previous jobs were all related to research and writing. Fortunately, in present work, I need to write and write convincingly i must in order to please clients who are on the verge of giving up.
you are a good writer. writing is like painting. each individual stroke shows the feelings behind the hands which made them. mas mahirap lang intindihin ang graphic art kasi walang words.
napansin ko when you write, it really comes from the heart. when you are sad, one can feel it in the tone and structure of sentences. you do not have to use the words "sad", "lonely" or "melancholic" to convey sadness, loneliness or melancholia. I am sure you are writing from the heart. i don't know but i think this is the secret of great writers.
funny, then pero late ko na narealize. your name here is "maganda" and my yahoo address is "gwapingsobra". quite a coincidence. i registered this name about 2 years ago pa yata. wala lang.
do you write poetry? I do. hayaan mo, i will send you some of my poems. if you are kind enough to send your email address, i will send you some of work.
this is getting longer by the minute. i think this is all for now.
enjoy the coming weekend.
it's me,
-the one that got away-
>>I need to write and write convincingly i must in order to please clients who are on the verge of giving up.
joe d' mango, is that you? :) are you some sort of an advice columnist? or maybe an episode writer of maalaala mo kaya? :)
no, i don't write poetry. i think in my entire lifetime, i've just written 3-4 poems. and those were really low points in my life. i don't think i've ever written a poem with a positive tone. mahirap na nga sa akin ang magsulat ng ganito, poems pa? short stories would be a different matter because i think i have an over-active imagination. i have a sister who writes poems. well, she actually composes songs together with her band.
anyway, thanks again for dropping by. i think i've put in more entries here than in my actual blog for the past couple of days. enjoy the weekend, too. :)
Dear Maganda,
How was your weekend? I hope it was relaxing.
Ako, I just went to my farm in Batangas and looked after my animals.
No, I am not an old man. I just fell in love with the foothills of this mountain in batangas which had a view of balayan bay, batulao mountain range and nasugbu bay. it was love at first sight kaya hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. hehe
ikaw? what do you do to relax? well, except for writing. mahilig ka ba sa outdoors? swimming? camping? etc.
the only problem with these activities is the expense. but again, what is money for? when we die, we cannot take our money with us. worse, our relatives will just fight over them. kaya it is better to enjoy your earnings while you are young.
how old are you na ba, if i may ask? i am just 32. i want to retire when i am 45. bilis ba?
ikaw? do you have a family of your own na ba?
sorry, dami tanong. just curious.
am just here,
-the one that got away-
hello again. :)
it was a good weekend, nothing too extraordinary. i don't have a farm to visit. :) i was supposed to go to our company's sportsfest to watch the games but it was too traffic (what else is new) so we opted to go to makati instead. shopping for my brother, had dinner with the family, met up with relatives for an after-dinner thing. di ko sure kung gimik kasing matatawag yun.
ang aga nga ng retiring age mo. pero bakit ba? if you can retire by then, why not? :) ang sarap isipin ang early retirement although i don't think that's going to happen to me. pero malay mo? i might win the lotto (if i ever decide to play) or win in eat bulaga (although maliit na lang ang pa-premyo nila --- maybe wowowee?). o kaya meron pala akong long lost relative na super yaman at mag-decide na sa akin ibigay ang kayamanan niya. baka mauna pa akong mag-retire sa iyo. :D
question pala, tama ba yung email address mo? di ko alam kung matagal mo na siyang hindi nagagamit o mali lang ang pagkaka-spell mo dito but it's not working. fyi lang naman. :)
thanks again for dropping by. have a good week ahead.
Dear Maganda,
Hello. I hope you are doing fine. Kakatamad pero it is just the second day of the week. hay. 3 days to go pa.
nice to hear that you had a nice weekend. while waiting for you to respond to my last entry, i browsed through your other entries. I learned a lot of things about you. In fact, I concluded that you are a good daughter. naks!
i was just saddened by the fact that your dad had to study nursing or apply for a nursing job in the states. He must really love you guys for him to do that. wala lang. bilib lang ako.
inggit din ako kasi from your stories, you have a happy family. sana iyong family ko ganun din.
I also learned that almost all of your gimiks are "kain" hehe.
where do you work nga pala? ako i work in the jungles of makati. most of the time, i brave the traffic going to makati unless may mga hearings ako.
are you fond of watching dvds? pirated ones i mean. this is the only way our third-world nation could undermine the economic imperialism of the first world. hehe. i love buying them kahit hindi ko lahat mapanood. cheapest would be in quiapo where you can get them for as low as P25 dvd copy na. sa makati cinema square naman mga P55. sa metrowalk mga P60.
what is your YM address?
i will check my yahoo address. thanks for letting me know about the problem.
ako lang,
-the one that got away-
P.S.
Smile, I am sure you are pretty when you smile.
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