before it ends

there's a sense of accomplishment in my life right now, now that i have actually finished my project. this is the first time that i have led a project and i could not even start to explain the feelings that i have now that it's over.

i told jon in our project management report that there have been times when i was given big responsibilities in projects and i have treated those as mini-projects that i am leading but this is the first time that i got to be accountable for everything. it's a scary thing at the start because truthfully, i didn't know what i was doing. i probably had an idea about what things to do but i was not confident at all.

it has been a long journey. nine months, to be exact. as if i was having a baby. maybe, in some weird way, this is that. and i could not even express how thankful i am to the people who have helped us along the way.

my team is probably the best team i could hope for --- melai, raffy, andrew, jade, mavie, katt, melvin, neill, jeff p. they were always there to support the project, extending hours just to be able to deliver. and they are my real babies. i have seen how they started, how they struggled and how they shined in their own ways. and i am so proud that they have accomplished so much!

my support team has been amazing --- mylene, jaime, taylor, ewa, guoliang, sanjay, chuck, jusel, perci, natz, allan, janice, minette. i know my life as a project manager would have been so much more difficult without their help. they let me discover and do things my own way but always being there to support me when i need them.

i am, in a way, saddened that this must come to an end because now it's going to be a new team all over again while this project is now familiar to me. but really, it's mostly happiness and pride that i feel right now. let me bask in it some more before it finally ends.

billiards fan

i just bought tickets to the world pool championships!



i am soooo excited! this is my first time i will be watching the best billiards players in action. i hope i'll get to see bata reyes, django bustamante and mika immonen!

gruelling

after weeks of studying, basically having no life and being a loser, i went to take my certification exam. nakakatakot kasi feeling ko ang dami kong hindi alam. but there was no other option but to go through the exam. nag-send pa ako sa team ko ng invite na ipagdasal kami ng 10 am. isip ko kasi, baka madaan sa dasal, kung hindi sa napag-aralan namin. i even told my mom to start praying at 10 am and not to stop until i text her i passed.

while waiting for the exam to start, nagsimulang magtanungan yung mga kasama ko. and i was thinking, "oh God, i am so dead". i started reading again, hoping that whatever else i read in those few minutes would help me pass.

the exam was soooo hard! nakakaloka siya! may mga questions na iniisip ko, "wala naman ito sa binasa ko e!". may mga questions naman na medyo alam ko yung sagot pero di ako sure. and thankfully, meron naman ding mga alam ko talaga.

one by one, the other examinees were finishing their own exams. ang usapan, bawal mag-react, kahit ano ang maging resulta. when mark, my teammate (and seatmate then), announced that he was ready to submit his exam, sabi ko, "pwede sumilip?" ok naman daw sa kanya basta mauna siya tumingin sa results. when i peeked, nakita ko na pumasa siya. then i thought, "oh God! anong gagawin ko kung bumagsak ako?" di ko kasi talaga alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa team at sa manager ko na di ako pumasa. by the end of two hours, i was so tired, wala na akong maiilabas sa utak ko. nag-check lang ako na wala akong na-miss na questions at nagdasal. sabi ko, "Lord, ikaw na ang bahala dito. wala na akong magagawa". then i mustered enough courage to click the End Exam button. i was expecting to see the results immediately when another message box popped asking, "Are you sure you want to end the exam?". kulang na lang magmura ako ng "p***! sabi ng end exam e!". pero syempre, nag-isip pa talaga ako kung tatapusin ko na ba. kaya lang kasi, wala na rin talaga akong mailalabas pa kaya go na.

Congratulations! You passed the exam.

yahoooo!!! gusto kong tumalon sa tuwa pero dahil napagkasunduan na walang magre-react, tumayo lang ako at lumabas. paglabas ko, tanong sila mark sa akin kung kamusta. dun lang ako nag-react. pero more than happiness, i was relieved. relieved that i passed and relieved that it's all over.

dun na ako nagsimulang mag-text at tumawag sa mga tao... kay mommy, aj, auds, mylene. nag-text din sina raffy at ryan. ang question lang ni ryan was, ":-) or :-(" sagot ako ng ":-) and :-)" for me and mark. ang response ni ryan, wagi! and it's the truth. wagi talaga.

stalker!

stalker mode on. ni hindi niya alam na i'm stalking him. hahaha! buti na lang din at clueless siya kasi baka matakot siya sa akin at biglang hindi niya ako kausapin. sabi nga ni auds, it's all about the interest. kung interesado ka sa isang tao, it makes all the difference. the weird thing is, di ko naman nakikita kami in a romantic way. parang off lang kasi. siguro naaaliw lang talaga ako sa kanya. for some reason, para siyang si "jack". my college friends would know who i am talking about. ganun yung naiisip ko sa kanya ngayon. wala lang din siguro akong ibang mapag-aliwan ngayon kaya sa kanya ko nababaling. kawawa naman siya. hahaha! :)

oh my...

i am treading on dangerous waters. my feet are in and i can't seem to get out. the problem is that when the tide comes in, i might end up drowning. although i know this might happen, i am still getting my feet wet. how stupid can i be?