numb and helpless

today is not a very good day. the year really is not starting too well for me. but this time it's not about me. i am just part of the story.

i think i'm still in shock. i'm not feeling too much. and i am not thinking either. i might have gone numb. or forced myself to go numb without actually meaning to. is this my way of coping with things? i might be tucking all these in the pockets of my mind to be stored away and then dealt with when i already can. maybe i need a shrink. hahaha!

some things do really come up when you least expect them. and to the most unexpected people, no less! i still can't understand how this all happened. well technically, i know how it happened but still...

it's a difficult time but again, i'm just a mere part of the story. if this was turned into a movie, i'm probably be supporting the supporting cast. so i can just imagine how hard it is for all the main players. and really, i don't have much control about the situation. i'm leaving it all up to Him now.

dang! this helpless thing is not really my cup of tea. i hate it when it happens.