nothing less than being swept off my feet

we were sitting in the pantry talking idly, waiting for 5 pm to come. sol then asked me, if i were a guy, who i would pick from the girls in our floor to go out with. i really had a hard time answering the question. then i was asked to pick from the guys who i wanted to go out with. now, that is a question i wouldn't be caught dead answering. we were still discussing when jill came into the pantry. we didn't spare her and asked her the same questions. she didn't say a name but just told us that it really depends on the kind of guy it is. some guys are older and want to settle down, therefore picking someone who is more mature and ready for commitment. some guys may not be the marrying type so they may opt to choose someone who is carefree and is not yet into serious relationships.

then jill asked the question, "which would you choose, someone who you love more or someone who loves you more?"

i have heard a lot of variations to this question before. one of which is a line of a song, "are you gonna stay with the one who loves you or are you coming back to the one you love?" now, this is a question that i did not even need to think before answering.

i would want someone who would love me more but then again, knowing myself, i would probably choose the one i love more. someone told me that i was a thinking person more than a feeler. maybe because most of the time, i try to keep my feelings in check. however, i think when it comes to these things, i let my heart rule over my head.

i wouldn't go into the discussion if the heart needs to come before the mind in matters of love. this is a topic that has long been debated and would probably never see a resolution. as for me, i just hope that when it matters most, i would be true to the promise i made to my mom and that is to never settle for someone. i've seen and heard stories of how marriages don't work because of this. not just marriages but relationships as a whole. "siya yung nandiyan, e"... "pwede na siguro siya"... "wala namang iba kasi". it's sad, but it's a decision made by a lot of people just so they would have someone in their life.

i am not saying i would never say the same things. maybe i will. but i hope i don't. a friend once told me, she would still like to be swept off her feet. she was.

i am hoping i would too.

birthday boy

franco, our darling baby boy is one year old! his party would still be a week from now and he may not be able to remember much of it but ate tetet and kuya weng are putting so much effort in setting it up and making sure it's memorable.

franco has been the center of everybody's attention from the very first day he was brought out into the world up to this very moment and for the years to come. i hope he grows up to be a good and loving son, nephew and grandson. i hope that he will experience all the grand and glorious things that life has to offer. i know it will be inevitable that he'll experience some hurts and pitfalls and so i wish that he will also be strong and resilient. and in those times that he may not be, i hope he will know that we are all here for him. i love this baby boy to bits and will love him for the rest of my life.

to my wonderful, lovable and ever so adorable inaanak... franco, ninang loves you very much! happy happy first birthday!

two faces of love

i received a text message yesterday saying that two of my friends are now a couple. so on my way to work, i decided to text the guy asking him to confirm the news. when he did, i immediately called him to congratulate him and of course, ask for more details (likas akong tsismosa, anong magagawa ko?). well, he didn't really give me much so in the end, i just have to content myself with the little information that i squeezed out of him. after that, i called the girl to congratulate her as well. just imagine me laughing (well, giggling actually) while talking to them on the phone in the shuttle on the way to work.

anyway, i am just happy for both of them. wishing you both years of love and happiness. (kelan celebration dinner?)

***

also on my way to work that day, i heard one of my favorite songs, "if the feeling is gone" by ella mae saison.

...all i ask is just a little honesty
though i know that you're not coming back to me
you know i'll do anything to make you stay
but i just have to let you know
if the feeling is gone...

this is such a sad song and something that everyone that has experienced heartbreak could relate to.

a question though is, do you really have a choice other than to let go of the person you love when there is no love left in him? cry, pig out if you need to, talk to your friends. but eventually, that's what you have to do. let go. there's nothing left to hold on to anyway.

i did it!

an hour before lunch, aren went around the office asking "hindi kayo mag-do-donate ng dugo?" showing us the band-aid on her arm. i said i wanted to but i needed someone to go through it with me. when she said that bert, euge, alice and aileen were already there, i immediately prodded her downstairs before i had a chance to change my mind.

once there, i was given a form i had to answer, then the nurse took my weight (which i am definitely not telling) and a blood sample. then the doctor took my blood pressure (that is the one that's normal) and gave me a go signal. and they gave me a red cross pin. one of the volunteers then told me to lie on the cot while another volunteer prepped me for the blood donation. i was starting to get nervous but i was keeping it all in check... that is, until i saw the needle. A GIGANTIC NEEDLE! i am not kidding. it was really huge! i wanted to run back to the office and never come back! but all i did was ask "masakit po ba yan?". the nurse told me that it really depended on my pain tolerance --- if it was low, then it would probably be more painful. now that didn't appease me at all. i couldn't look and i had to bite my lip to keep from screaming when the needle pierced my skin.

OOOOWWWWWW!!!!

around five to ten minutes, i was lying on the cot and my blood was flowing to the bag. continuously. now i know you really can bleed to death. "keep on squeezing", the nurse would say. there was a dull pain in my arm when i squeezed but i did it anyway. when it was time to take the needle out, i had to look away again. surprisingly though, i didn't feel a thing this time. i stayed on the cot for a few more minutes just to "recuperate" from the blood loss. after i drank some juice and a band-aid was placed on my arm, i was given the green light to go back to the office.

i must say, that eventhough my arm was hurting, it was worth it. one, i did a good deed and two, i overcame my fear to do something worthwhile. i am so proud of myself!

so not like an ant's bite

there's a blood-letting program in our company this thursday and friday. i want to donate but there's just one problem. i'm afraid of needles. this has been true since i don't know when.

one of the stories my mom likes to tell is that when we were young, she would warn us a week in advance that she'll be giving us our vaccines. even then i would cry thinking of the syringe that would be piercing through my skin. owwww! the only thing that cured me of this was that i was getting too old to be crying inside the laboratory when i was getting my blood tests. the crying stopped but i am still not very fond of needles.

anyway, i am hoping i can muster enough courage (or be able to find or convince someone to join me) to donate blood at the end of the week. wish me luck!

europe-bound

rose left yesterday and texted me this afternoon. she is in amsterdam en route to germany. i am soooo jealous!

language deficient?

sabi nila, bihira daw ang mga taong magaling sa math at language. akala ko nung high school, magaling ako sa math. nalaman ko nung college na hindi pala. yun nga lang, mas sigurado ako na hindi ako magaling sa language. yan na nga siguro ang dahilan kung bakit minsan talaga ang hirap sumulat. minsan, wala talagang pumapasok sa isip ko kahit na gustuhin ko mang may mailagay dito. lalo na kapag walang kakaibang nangyari sa araw ko. kasi kung merong maganda o pangit na nangyari, madaling mailabas sa pagsusulat kung anuman yun. kahit na hindi ko pa isipin. minsan nga, inilalagay ko pa sa cellphone ko dahil hindi na ako makapaghintay na sa bahay ko pa isulat. naisip ko nga, ang hirap siguro kung ito ang trabaho mo. o siguro, sa akin lang kasi hindi madali sa akin ang sumulat. mamumulubi siguro ako kung ang trabaho ko e sumulat sa isang magazine o newspaper. ok lang sana kung susulat ako kung kelan ko gusto. pero kung tipong may deadline ako para makagawa ng isang article na gugustuhing mabasa ng mga tao, ay nakupo. problema talagang malaki yun.

face lift

a new look for my blog. i wish there were more templates we could choose from but this would do. not being knowledgeable in the language of html and being creativity deficient, i really can't complain can i?