sigh.

after our first saturday night gimmick, we went to audrey's house to hang out. this was at around 1:30 am already. i guess the group wasn't used to going home at that hour because we usually stay out until around 3 am when we're out on friday nights. we got to do our bonding thing and let's just say they were all shocked at how boring my love life was. they said they'll have to do something about it.

yes, it's sad that my so-called love life has been lacking in excitement. it has been for a while now. but what is pathetic is that my friends thinking that i need to be helped along in the areas that i think should happen naturally.

i had some moments to think last sunday as i was preparing for mass and here is what i thought:
i am not overly pretty nor am i really ugly,
i am not exceptionally intelligent nor am i particularly dumb,
i am not exceedingly fat nor am i very thin,
i am not overtly outgoing nor am i extremely shy,
i am neither this nor that.

i am just average. maybe i am extraordinarily average that after almost 29 years, it still remains to be the same boring story. too average that other people don't really take notice. the truth is, i don't mind it most of the time. except at times that people around me have to remind me of it. like now.

i want! i want!

i haven't even bought his second album and he's now out with his third. closer to the sun is the newest album release of guy sebastian, one of my favorite singers.



christmas is coming soon... this is definitely part of my wish list!

saying goodbye

as of today, it will only be a matter of days until i go back. i couldn't explain how i feel but for sure i would miss this place that i have called home for the past year. most people who have been here might be surprised at the statement i just made. after all, some people find life here boring. they say it's in the middle of nowhere. maybe so. but i have come to love this place, as i have other places i have spent quite some time in.

i'm going to miss living alone. i've shared a bedroom with my siblings ever since i was born, it's a welcome change to have a place of my own. sure, i miss having my family around when i am here but it's also nice to have some alone time. i'll miss the independence that i've experienced here. i've lived for a year in japan and a few months in australia but i felt freer here. maybe because i've never been proficient enough in nihonggo to be confident on my own and make friends outside the office and my mobility in australia was very limited. here, i was free to explore places i wanted to see and talk to people freely, without thinking if what i said made sense. i am going to miss having enough resources at hand to be able to splurge once in a while without thinking if it's going to affect my financial responsibilities. but most of all, i think i am going to miss the people i have spent time with and who became really good friends. it's hard saying goodbye because you know things will never be the same when you're oceans, continents and time zones apart.

i'm going to miss a lot of things when i leave. how i wish i could put everything in a big container and carry it all with me.