thinking of the future

a lot people are leaving and moving on with their lives. my college barkada are scattered all around the world --- bahrain, austria, new zealand and the u.s. officemates have resigned and moved to singapore and australia.

i once thought of leaving the country but it hasn't been for a while now. during my first project in my current company (which was almost 9 years ago), i got a chance to travel to sydney and actually fell in love with australia. it was the only country that i thought that i could leave the philippines for. after all this time, i am beginning to consider this again.

i've been to a lot of countries... and for that, i will always be grateful to my company. because of my work, i got to go to a lot of places and experienced a lot of things. and it has given me a better perspective of the world and has made me a more independent person.

i always thought that i would be staying here in the philippines. i love it here. and migrating to another country was not something i was considering. however, where i am in my life now is opening this idea once again. i will be in my mid-30s soon and i need to consider all aspects of my life. and i sometimes feel that some of the dreams that i have for myself might only be realized in another country. and it's not money, mind you. i've never been one to make money a priority in my life. i'd like to have more of it, sure. but it's not something that drives my decisions.

i've talked this through with friends, colleagues and workmates. hopefully, things will turn out well. *fingers crossed*

like and love

a friend told me indirectly that i have no taste. in my defense, i think that speaks well of me since it shows that i consider personality more than i do looks, right? it's not as if i don't take looks into consideration. i'm not going to be self-righteous and say all those hulabaloo --- that what is inside is more important than what is outside ekek. this may be true but let's face it, it's part of the reason why we're attracted to someone. di ko rin naman minsan nage-gets kung bakit niya crush yung mga gusto niya. siguro, di lang talaga kami pareho ng taste ng kaibigan ko. good thing na rin yun. at least hindi kami mag-aagawan ng crush. hahaha! :)

***

i was asked to be the featured person in our company's newsletter. one of the question was, "do you remember your first love? (give details)". it made me think, who really do i consider as my first love? i've had huge crushes on people, so can i consider those? does it have to be reciprocated before you can call it love? when do you consider yourself in love?

i may have been in love twice. the first one, he may not have known. we were really close friends. he had a girlfriend then and although they were having problems then, i didn't want to be the one to break them up. i was even advising him on what to do to patch things up with his girlfriend. we parted ways after college and our lives just drifted apart eventually. i haven't heard from him for a while but i think he's happy.

the second time, he may have known. i think he did. but as the song goes, "life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's ok and everything's going right". he went to another country and things eventually went downhill from there. it turned out for the best and he's now happily married.

i have yet to find that happy-ever-after love. not the fairy tale kind, because i know that things are not always smooth sailing. but you know what i mean. in the event that it does not happen, then i have to accept it. but for now, let me wish and hope that it will.

i want! i want!

i haven't even bought his second album and he's now out with his third. closer to the sun is the newest album release of guy sebastian, one of my favorite singers.



christmas is coming soon... this is definitely part of my wish list!